I really should be writing here more, but I've learned that taking up a new martial art (new, ha, I mean starting) is like learning to walk. I feel very much like a child trying to get my limbs to move in the right direction. The fun part is trying to get them all to move in the right direction at the same time - and often it feels like there is a lot to keep track of. My arms go one way, my feet go another.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to lunge with both feet? I know that both feet move independently, but when you see a seasoned person do it, it looks like magic. It seems as though both feet move at the same time and I want so badly to do that, but I fear falling over, in the most undignified way!
I've gotten slightly better at keeping the sharp part of my "sword" pointing in the right direction. At least I know what end the hilt is.
I remember knitting being somewhat trying in the beginning. I wanted to jump right in and make arm warmers and the Doctor Who scarf. I made the arm warmers and I still have the yarn for said scarf. I remember yarn overs being terrifying, but now I do them with ease. I suppose sword will be like that too. I'll create bad habits of my own, that will one day look to someone else like a feat of magic.
I learned that I am, in fact, short enough to practice sword in the house. This makes me happy, as it is pollen season here in the Bay Area, and my East Coast allergies have yet to acclimate (who am I kidding, spring is always going to be "fun"). The cat is a bit dubious of me shuffling about the living room swinging my bokken about. At least I don't think I look like a mad woman. I managed to stretch, do 18 crunches (this is a testament to what sword is doing for me, before I could do barely ten on a whim), and practiced one cut, the lunges, and sheathing and unsheathing my "sword".
Our last lesson was Friday. We had a different sensei that night and the most awesome Lillian to instruct us. Lillian is made of steel, but has the softest, sweetest voice. She is the type of older woman that would make me feel horrible to disappoint. Our sensei for the night took the time to work with me on the very basics - mostly the magical feet thing. I also need to work on how I hold my sword.
E makes the whole damn thing look easy. I have to remember that I need to break these things down to their most basic parts, so I can learn to do them correctly. I can do the first kata pretty well, now that I've got the positioning of the blade right. I need to get used to the cuts, and the draws, even though they really only have me working on a couple. Practice those, drill them, make them movements, not thought. I think way too much and I screw up when I think too hard. Sometimes I have to just take a deep breath, and as I let it out, make the movement. The whole "keep it simple, stupid" comes to mind. I've always had a hard time keeping it simple.
Another interesting little thing that came from all of this was E and I talking about balance. We sat on the floor to do some stretches and he had me sit Indian style and then took his hands and forced my back straight. I was both horrified and amused at what he did. It felt so weird. I've been slouching so much, that sitting correctly not only feels strange, but kind of hurts. And I've got this weird exo-skeleton of fat on my stomach that feels vaguely like a corset. Did you know that when you start becoming more active that your fat moves? I wouldn't necessarily say it is going away, but it has definitely shifted and has caused me a great deal of amusement as I point out these little changes that I'm noticing to E.
As for the mind, I think this is helping me. The movement gives me energy and focus. The dojo gives me a sense of community that I've been missing since leaving church almost 14 years ago. The fact that I don't know what the hell I'm doing gives me humility, awe in those that do know what they are doing, and eagerness to learn more. I know I have to take it slow, in order to become the person with the abilities that I want to be, and I think I'm okay with that.
